I am a 50 years old women married for 25 years. My husband is five years older than I am, but looks ten years older than his actual age. Everyone says that I look very young for my age and I'm also very young at heart and full of life. He would much rather hang out in his man cave alone with his Marvel comic memorabilia. We do not really have a marriage. We have more of a friendship, a friendiage, if you will! For the last 5 years we had no sex life at all. We even have separate bedrooms. My husband was warned years ago by his doctors to eat right and take care of himself but he didn't listen so as a result he is on a lot of medication. He found out about two years ago that I was seeing someone. It broke his heart. I felt so bad for him and myself. I ended that relationship, but my need for sex will not go away. I even prayed to God to take the desire away from me. Now I am seeing another man, a younger man! Call me a cougar- I am 15 years older than him. He is also married with a family. It sounds crazy, but this relationship works for the both of us seeing that we do not want to change each other's home situation. It is just about a good time together and great sex. Recently, my husband bugged the house phone and heard me on the phone telling my girlfriend about my lover and the great times that we are having with together. Needless to say, hearing that information hurt my husband and I am truly sorry for that (search and you shall find.) I feel like I am living and breathing in the twilight zone he walks around hurting and it hurts me to see that happen, but it feels so good to be with my lover. What am I supposed to do? Do I leave our home? Do I continue to see my lover and keep my friendiage? So far, he hasn't asked me to leave, but his actions somewhat show that he wants me to make a change. I'm not sure if that change is for me to go or for me to stop seeing my lover. We have two kids away at college and I don't want him to be in that big house alone. He needs his family and my heart still belongs to my husband. I am not at the point to where I am going to be home just cooking and cleaning. I need fun, I need to go out and I need to have sex, it's just sex! What do I do? Help