Dear Steve and Shirley,
I broke up with a gentleman I was dating for only 3 months. His baby's mother lives at his house and he said that he's been telling her to go for the past 14 years and she is dragging her feet. He told me on our first date and asked me to bear with him, as he does not have a relationship with this woman but he has a son with her who is now 13 years old. I said to him, "When you told her to leave is it that you were having sex with her, but at the same time putting her out?" He said yes! He was just plain stupid. I said that does not make sense. I said to myself, "You are plain stupid." He kept on saying to bear with him since his child is involved. I grew tired of this. Yes, he treats me well, but I didn't see where he was making any changes in his relationship and I could only see him once a week, as he has to spend time with his son doing homework, cooking, and preparing his clothes. The little boy's mother does not take care of him. He says she is not a mother to his son and he wants her to leave. I asked why he wouldn't go to court to deal with this and he finds excuses. I gave him so many options and nothing. So I just got up one morning and broke it off. I told him I place value on myself and I do not need to be a side piece or a mistress. I have never done it before and I will not tolerate it now. He told me I am unreasonable to break up with him after all he has done for me. I told him what seems unreasonable to you is not unreasonable to me. I got values, end of story. I told him to continue his dirty, low life he's had for the past 14 years and I told him he was downright selfish. He was upset.