Dear Steve and Shirley,

I am 26 years old and have been in a relationship for about two years. I was married before and things did not work out and I met someone rather quickly at work. He was kind, considerate, and attentive. We had fun talking, hanging out and just being around each other. The very first time my dad met him, he told my mother that something was off with the guy. Of course I did not believe my dad. I met his family and their relationship is not good. He barely speaks to his mother and there have been times when her car broke down and he would not go pick her up because he said he was tired. My mom said if he is not good to his mother, then chances are he will not be good to you. I had to move out of my apartment because I lost my job. At his request, I moved in with him. It was nice at first, but after a few months in a small studio apartment, I got to see the real man. Besides going to work 5 days a week, all he wants to do is have sex, sleep, eat, and surf the internet. On his days off, he eats and stays in the bed in his PJs. I go out alone because I can't stay cooped up like that. Sometimes he just snaps and goes into a shell and doesn't want to be bothered. There have been times when he has cursed me out and told me to "Shut the F up." To top it off, the apartment has roaches and mice. I convinced him to call management for exterminating services. That helped for a little while, but a year later, we have the same problem. I finally gave up and found my own apartment. He is upset and says he does not understand why I am leaving. Last night while sleeping, I felt something crawling on my back, low and behold, it was a roach! I jumped up and he looked at me and wondered why I was leaving and not coming back. I asked him how he could be okay living like this. He called and asked if I would come by the house. I told him that we can go out to dinner but I am not coming back there. He said if I was not coming over after dinner, then there was no point in going out at all. I could not believe that after two years, I am not worth going out to dinner without sex being involved. Please give me some advice, should I hang in there with him and see if he changes or should I cut my losses now?


Too weak to leave