Good Morning Mr. Harvey, Shriley and everyone,
I am in my mid thirties, married for 3 yrs, mother of 6 and thinking about a divorce. I found out earlier in the year that my husband had 2 other/outside children with the mother of his children that live with us. I found out becase she had to get a paternity test for all of her kids because she gets TANF, he was tested as a rule out (it ruled his #$#$ self right in.) HE wasn't even the one to tell me. She called me and told me, he never would have told me. He would have carried it to his grave. When confronted he said he it was true. The first one was conceived around the birth of our first child. Like on Friends, technically we were on a break. We weren't together per se but we were working on it and we were still being intimate. The second of their "love children" was conceived around the birth of our second child which was also around the time we got married. I always had a feeling that they were still screwing I just couldn't prove it. I guess the first one is my fault because she was staying in my house for a short period of time. She had gotten kicked out of her house and the shelters were full. I personally took her to the intake. We used to be very friendly and I used to try to help her. She is young, and lost and I wanted her to do well for herself and for her kids. Mind you the first two of their children I take care of. They live with my husband and me and she does nothing for them. I invited her to come to church with me, though she never came, I used to urge her to go back to school or at least start working. She gets public assistance but sells her stamps for alcohol and pills. She just got her GED about 2 yrs ago. Jesus said "As you have done for the least of these, you have also done unto me" so I felt I was doing the right thing and it blew up in my face. There are times when I want to forget all and just push through, I love my husband. He is good father, he hasn't been providing like he used to but when he had his own business he did. Even now he gives me money as jobs become available but I am the primary bread winner. I treat him well! I cook, take good care of my children, I'm in school with a 4.0 mind you, and I work. I can do this by myself I really can, but I made a promise to God and him for better or for worse but I'm the only one honoring it. He is claiming that they only had sex just those two times but I'm no fool, well at least not completely. Half the time I have to drink just to be intimate, I won't kiss him or put my mouth on him nor can he put his mouth on me. I don't feel the same about him, I love him to death, but I look at him sometimes and wish that I never ran into him. We've known each other since grade school I think about leaving. I sometimes think about what some icy hot and a cathether can do, or sand paper and lemon juice. Mostly I think about why no one has ever loved me the way I love them. He made a promise and lied, he looked me in my face and lied! I'm torn, I don't know if I follow my head or my heart. Please advise I'm at a loss. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. God bless you. Signed Broken Hearted. PS we never really had a menage a trios or anything like that. I just I just invited a devil in my midst.