Dear Steve and Shirley,
My wife and I have been married for over 20 years. When we met, she already had two daughters from her first marriage. They were two and three years old at the time. We married a year later and I have loved and raised those girls as my own. Their biological father had very little to do with them over the years, other than gifts on birthdays and holidays. He is a prominent doctor and never really had any time for them. I asked my wife why doesn't he pay child support and she said, He has a new wife and family, so we will let him worry about them. We have you, we don't need him. So that's how it's been. I got them through school, they both got cars when they turned 16. I've put one through college and the other one graduates next year, all that with no financial help from the good doctor. Okay that is a little of our background. So now my oldest daughter is getting married. We have been planning the wedding for six months. So far I have spent over $6,000. That is not easy to do on a blue collar job. By the way, my wife has been a housewife since we've been married. But anyway, I felt my baby girl was worth it so I put in the overtime. Recently her biological dad retired and has decided to reconnect with his daughters. I'm okay with that, they are two remarkable women and he should get to know them. Here is the problem. Now, she wants him to walk her down the aisle and give her away. I suggested that we both walk her down, one on each arm and was shot down by she and her mother. Then we were planning the reception and she wants him to do the father/daughter dance. So I asked her, when do I get to dance with you? They both laughed and my wife said, honey there is no such thing as a stepfather dance. Later when my wife and I were alone, I told her that they hurt my feelings and that I was feeling left out. My wife said to me, this is not about you it's about your daughter. Stop being petty. To tell the truth right now, I don't even want to go to the wedding, but I would never disrupt her big day by not being there. But I am still hurt by this whole thing. So finally here is my question, am I being petty? Am I wrong for feeling this way, or do I have a valid point for feeling left out? Oh yeah, I'm still getting bills to pay for everything. Please advise me on this situation. Thanks.