Dear Shirley and Steve,

I met this guy and he was not my type at first, but I gave him a chance. He was perfect. We hit it off with the best romance and sex ever! He was everything I wanted and I loved him, but then he came to me and said he had been in a relationship all his life and he was tired and he wanted to cater to himself. He didn't want a relationship. I let him go after lots of tears, but I really loved him. We kept in contact and he was there when I needed money. I started dating again, even though my heart was with him. I met another man and he wants to be with me. We fell for each other. I like him, but it's nothing like what me and the first guy had. I kept him at a distance, but then I got sick and this new dude spent the night at the hospital in a chair and I started looking at him differently. He has said he loves me several times and I realized I love him. Here is the problem, I love them both and I am still sexually active with both men. Both say they love me. I am confused because I still love the first, but the other guy is so good to me. The second guy wants a relationship and he shows me everyday that he loves me. The first guy is showing nothing but words and a few actions. What should I do? I got two good men and they don't cheat. They are honest, as far as I can tell. I am stuck.